You can not Break Down what can’t be Broken

This is a self reflection. Do I have a chip on my shoulder?
Yeah. I do.

I’ve been overlooked and underestimated by the people around me. I pulled myself out of every deep, dark hole that I was put in – even when I couldn’t see the light at the top. I danced with the devil and successfully escaped. I have avoided an eternity of disappointment by avoiding the traps set for not only me, but for all of us. I got involved with the wrong people at a young age, but still chose a different path than drug addiction or any other ideology of settling for less than what I’m worth. My only wish is to get across to the kids that were like me. You have a lot of choices in life, and you’re going to deal with a lot of pain. It’s easy to put a band aid on yours wounds by drowning yourself in liquor and drugs, but you must understand that you are not healing yourself. Life is going to hurt, but it’s going to be great too – That is, only if you want it to be. Your perspective is what will define your outcome. When you are faced with adversity, you can choose to look at all of the negatives, or you can choose to focus on how to make every experience in your life a positive one. Nobody is going to help you. Nobody is going to take your hand and save you. At some point, life for me started to feel like quicksand. I felt like I was slowly drowning into an abyss, and the harder I fought to get out, the quicker I sank. I waited patiently for somebody to come along and help me. Nobody came. I had to figure it out for myself. I could’ve let myself drown, but I decided to grab the rope. I hope you do as well.

Live without regrets. Follow your heart, no matter where it takes you. You will fail, you will embarrass yourself, and you will get rejected. This is life. You’re never going to know what is out there for you if you don’t take the leap of faith. Speak your mind. When you do, understand that the rest of the world probably isn’t going to agree with you. Don’t let time pass you by without giving your best effort. Don’t let somebody you love fade away without finding them and telling them everything that you want them to know. They might not feel the same way, but that’s alright. Just like my old football coach told me when I was young – “Even if we lose, leave your heart on that field.” So that is what I’m doing. Life is short, and we are all inevitably going to die one day. When you’re on your death bed, how many regrets will you have? That’s a scary question, isn’t it? This is the reason you must make every single day of your life meaningful. Are you willing to go through day after day, week after week, and year after year without trying?

I spill my blood, sweat, and tears into this notepad in hopes to reach you. I do it with hopes that my words will spread across the entire world, but with understanding that I must create a foundation before that could even be a possibility. You can’t skip steps in life. You can’t jump from A to Z, no matter how hard you try. I should know, because that’s all I tried to do my entire life. I was never patient, I always wanted instant satisfaction. But that isn’t how the world works. You have to work hard for what you want. But before you do any of this, you have to learn to love yourself. Don’t ever let another human being verify your self worth.

There is no mountain high, no valley low, and no river wide enough to stop me from pursuing my passion in life. I wrote many books in the past few years and sent them to publishing companies that shot me down and told me in not so many words that perhaps writing was not a career I should pursue. I truly thought they were right, but now I know they’re wrong. Nobody is going to tell me, or you, what is and isn’t possible. All that writing I sent out, all of that hard work I put in, only to be told that I was wasting my time. I quit writing for a while. It didn’t take long before I came back stronger and more passionate than I’ve ever been before. Turns out, I am now working with a publishing company to publish my first book. There is no timeframe for this, as I am also working and pursuing my education. The point is, don’t ever quit. There’s a chip on my shoulder for everybody that told me what I couldn’t achieve. You’re going to see me do it, and you’re going to regret not providing me the opportunity when I asked for it.

I hope you mimic my attitude. I hope you learn from your mistakes and never let them define you. The things that truly define your character are the choices you make when nobody else knows. My advice? Stay true to yourself. I don’t know much about life, but there is one philosophy I live by that nobody can take from me.

You can not break down, what can’t be broken.


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